So this was me in 1993. Yes, I wore that hat in public. No, I had no idea it looked that bad. Yes, I'm aware that but for smaller glasses, an absence of unfortunate hats and turtlenecks as fashion choices, I haven't really changed that much. Let's just get that out of the way.

Moving on.

So here's what's been turning me into a judgmental bitch lately - those "before I die" or "someday" photos online. You may or may not have seen them depending on how much time you spend online. Basically, it's a soft-focus color-saturated photo of something, say, a tray of cupcakes, with words over them, say "Own a bakery." I've seen them posted on a few different websites (mostly through Pinterest, world's best time suck).

When I first started seeing them, I kind of liked them. I too would like to state a desire to visit Prague over a lovely shot of the Charles Bridge. Like so:

See, nice. Aspirational goal, entirely possible, but just expensive enough to be currently out of reach.

The judgmental bitch part comes in when I start seeing really stupid goals. Here are some I've re-created to show you what I mean.:

Really? This is your goal? Unless you've got a stash of magic hats in your coat closet, Frosty is not coming to life, Sweetie.

Wait, it gets worse:

Seriously? Seriously. For God sakes, if your dream is to work at a store, GO PUT IN AN APPLICATION. And then get some better dreams because that's pathetic.

Most of the ones that annoy me are clearly written by teenagers with desires to meet celebrities and get tattoos. But I suspect a fair few are written by adults with nothing better to do and very little natural taste or discernment.  If you want a tattoo or purple hair or to own a Chanel purse, save your money and get to the salon or the store or wherever. Just do it already.

Of course I say these things, and then I feel bad because what if that girl posting about working at Hollister is ugly and would never get hired there... I mean she can't help bad DNA.  Oh, but wait: GET BETTER DREAMS.

Perhaps because my parents raised me to believe I was awesome without touching base with the reality of being short, fat and four-eyed, I continually fail to understand why people dream so small. Dreams should be big and over the top. If they're not, how are they ever worth dreaming in the first place?